Monday, February 16, 2009

Invisible

I'm feeling a tad delicate today, no real reason for it. Just feel that the things that matter to me don't rate a mention with anyone else, quite melodramatic really. I feel that what I write, say or do is insignificant, not worthy of comment. Like I said highly melodramatic but I guess we all have these kind of days. I thought I was doing really well as I haven't had a bad day like this in ages, but things have just come to the surface after feeling like my girls and I are being ignored, and that hurts. Hey I might not be reading it right but that's the way it looks and I guess it's one of the reasons I stopped talking and particularly online stopped posting their photos and talking about them as much as few people were interested in them and that hurt, so it was easier to stop altogether, save myself from that hurt. I think the thing that then mande it worse is that no one noticed that there were no new photos, no updates, no one asked to see them. It makes me question my membership, do I really belong somewhere where I feel lost and not appreciated. I have thought about leaving time and time again but I just can't seem to break my ties, it's a vicious cycle, there is too many people that I would like to stay in contact with, which over weighs my desire to leave and stop the hurt.

I for a little while thought if I put myself out more, commented and spoke more to others put myself out there it would change but I feel positive for a little while but them my esteem eventaully returns to where I am now, feeling very deflated. I feel like going in there and removing my posts as everytime I go in their it's a reminder to me of how much my news does not matter, the only time I've sparked any interest previously is when I had a little hissy fit and I have no intention of doing that in there ever again, it felt so superficial afterwards.

I might just have a break from their for now, it really is having quite a negative impact on me, hate feeling like this, so I'm going to go spend some time with two little people who know I exist and love me to pieces!!!

6 comments:

  1. Aww hun *hugs* I hope our little group don't make you feel this way.

    I do know how you feel though, on the bigger forum that I am a member of, I don't even bother starting new posts anymore because no-one ever answers them!

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  2. Kat, things have been particularly quiet overall. Please don't take it to heart, you will notice an overall decrease in posts, not just to your threads. I hope th sun shines brighter for you tomorrow. x

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  3. Kat I think I know where you are talking about and trust me you are notice. I notice but will admit to being very slack in the contributions, anywhere of late but you aren't alone in being unnoticed ;)

    Catch you thursday?
    K

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  4. (hug) There has been a much smaller number of posts and people replying. Sorry if you're feeling down :( xoxo

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  5. I love your blog, just sometimes I can't think of anything intelligiblegiblegible to write. But I read and ENJOY every entry :D

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  6. Ah thanks girls, I know you all love me :) It was hard going in there today and seeing a similar post be responded to time after time and my girls just falling to the bottom and then off the page with out any impact, it's probably that I'm just super sensitive when it comes to my girls and I guess i get my back up when I see that. It will probably be 10 times worse after this weekend as I'm sure there will be another post that will tip me other, so i'm going to lay low for a little while, and I'll see you Thursday for sure Krys. Maybe I'll come back after February is finished then the posts that are going to effect me the most will be gone. Krys, when you see me feel free to slap me for being melodramatic!!!

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